


fever dreams

by ComaGayby



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Character Study, Dreams and Nightmares, F/F, Mostly hurt, Set after the end of season 4, but some of the ppl in her dreams are trying to help her, guilty catra, i kinda wanna add other character's dreams and doubts but will i actually write more? WHO KNOWS, its a bit dark (mentions of blood/corpses) but pretty mild (if sad), its not quite hurt and comfort, its not rlly explicit at all but theres catradora and glitradora undertones, poor catra, she's not quite redeemed yet but she really wants to be, unsure if this will stay a one-shot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:47:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21899905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComaGayby/pseuds/ComaGayby
Summary: A self-loathing Catra dreams of familiar faces.
Kudos: 12





	fever dreams

A reptilian face leered down at her. "Did you _really_ think hurting others would kill the anhedonia?" they chuckled, "get a clue, kitten."

Catra felt like she was suffocating as a pair of sad blue eyes pierced through the haze. "It won't make you happy," Adora whispered. "You won't stop being an _object_ to others just by being powerful."

Scorpia overtook her vision next. Catra could only assume that she would console her, if she could. If she was tangible. She wasn't anymore, of course.

"She has purpose because she has others," Scorpia sighed. "I have purpose. Friends." 

Her vision went white, and Adora's voice, but in the cadence of She-Ra, roared almost unbearably. 

"I can't do this any longer, Catra. If you won't stop, I'll have t-" her voice cut out in place of incoherent static; but to Catra the words sounded like _put you down,_ "She-Ra, I'm, I'm nothing. Not inherently. I choose what I am. I choose to fight for others. I'm not a sword.. you're not my pet.." 

The far colder voice of Shadow Weaver cut in, out of sight. "You pathetic creature. So self-assured in your own individuality, but such a pitiful collection of posturing and nothingness." 

She-Ra, again - "choose yourself, Catra. This isn't what you want, this isn't who you are.. this is who you think you HAVE to be. No one expects or wants this from you. Except you. Choose yourself, because it isn't this." 

Water flooded the void; pouring and crashing towards Catra; bodies - dead? spun past her; her arm materialized, and a tiny hand clutched around her fingers - a child from Thaymor, her dress soaked with mud and blood, and scorched with burn damage. Her piercing bloodshot eyes pleaded silently. "You're so angry.. please don't be angry.. please don't hurt me.. w-why did you.."

Her claws were dripping with blood. She blacked out again. 

Lonnie stared daggers at her, Rogelio was unreadable, and Kyle was an unplaceable mix between stern and soul-stirringly pitiful. Their voices merged into an overwhelming flood of noise. "You're the worst occupational hazard we could have asked for," they laughed. "We sure wouldn't have survived alone, huh? If we just cared about advancing our fucking careers (hearing the profanity from Kyle was jarring,) if we didn't have something deeper? Every SINGLE person you felt camaraderie with is gone, because you prioritized your own ego over their dedication."

" _We would still forgive you, if you asked,_ " the disembodied voices of Adora and Scorpia echoed mournfully. 

Entrapta's cloudy, pupiless eyes flashed and glitched; Catra couldn't have looked away even if they didn't fill her entire field of vision. Her voice was monotone and _soulless_. Catra felt a gnawing pit in her stomach. "Oh, Catra.. why did you think I even bothered to hang around you? You were more than a means to an end.. you were my favorite robot of them all! Your script sure is impeccable, huh? I couldn't have asked for someone more reassuringly _predictable!_ "   
  
Double Trouble bowed into her vision again, a sadistic grin splitting their face. Blurry images flashed behind them; burning tanks, billowing plumes of inky smoke, explosions ripping through Salineas and Frosta's ice palace, crying families, her former squad's corpses, _Adora's_ corpse, an electrified Entrapta, a horrified Scorpia, seething hatred, a cacophony of screaming, miserable people.. 

"Your vision for the world truly is unparalleled, kitten. Because inflicting your misery onto every single person you can will _surely_ fill the void. What a beautifully pointless tragedy. I almost admire you." 

She felt sick, positively sick, as inky black tendrils flooded her 'vision.' "Stupid, stupid girl," she cackled glibly, "you have no clue what you play at. Even if you did prove an equal to me - _you won't_ \- do you genuinely believe that would make you feel any less of a _defect?_ " 

Hordak's glib smile - "you don't have the guts." 

The sickness lessened, but refused to subside entirely, as her vision flashed in pastel colors. _Dream you really isn't an improvement._ Glimmer just sighed. "Do you _have_ to be bitter constantly? Proving yourself isn't worth anything if you can't fucking stand yourself. Don't hate me just because I remind you of yourself, please. You can't be fueled by anger forever.. please just let me _help you with this_.."   
  
_"She tried to burn her world, too,"_ Adora hummed, " _that didn't make me stop loving her."_

Catra felt herself become alarmingly lucid, and recognized the telltale signs of a waning dream. Glimmer's outstretched hand blacked out unceremoniously. She almost regretted waking up. The real world was so much less honest. 

**Author's Note:**

> ;-----------; catra bby pls just let all your old friends into your heart (and new ones too!) fucc shadow weaver and hordak tho


End file.
